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Mengmin Wang
Professor Horbey
WRT102.01
18 January 2012
指导essay Still Thinking About Taking Online School? Stop It!
Even though some online schools have the legitimate accreditation, it is still not worthwhile to gain a degree online, especially when comparing what the students can learn from those courses and programs and the consuming time to those in a traditional school.
Online education does provide the opportunity that students do not need to go to classroom, however, just because there is no need to go to classroom, it makes establishing a relationship between students extremely hard. Students will complete most of the assignments online and the instructor also will grade the assignments online (). On one aspect, since students do not go to classroom, they do not know each other. It becomes impossible for those students to sit together to discuss the problems and finish the assignments like if they were in a traditional school. Even though some programs do provide some (you use too many vague words.) discussion board, it is rarely used by the students (). It seems there are two reasons. (:) One is (that) discussing through typing word by word is really annoying and time consuming, (explore it) and the other reason is that, they have an uncertain feeling of what they may type. If Mark Zuckerberg attended school online, I am not sure he still had the aspiration to write a program to make students communicate more easily. (It’s clear that you want to hold Zuckerberg’s experience as your example. However, your words not weight that much. You see what I mean here? Work more on intrinsic Ethos.) By the way, the program becomes today’s Facebook. If Bill Gates attended school online, I am not sure ( If I were your hostile audience, I would think : “who care what you think? You are not an expert!) he still had the opportunity to meet Paul Allen. Like I said, learning is not just learning. ( Try to be specific.)As mentioned above, it is essential to establish a relationship between students, because students could find friends or potential business partners in a classroom, instead of a discussing board. 指导essay Students’ relationship would be a downside of online education, student to instructor relationship would also need to be considered. (Don’t be biased about the issue. Personally, your examples are not valid enough. Think about this, how many “Bill Gates” are there in this society? He is an exception, not the rule. It’ll be better if you use common phenomena to explain common phenomena, not special cases to commons. )
Online education does enable small class size so that each student could receive more attention from the instructor when comparing to traditional education (). However, since lack for face-to-face communication, it is hard for students to establish a good relationship with the instructors. All the communication between students and instructors are based on the Internet, including the lectures and the feedbacks given by the instructors based on students’ assignment (). On one hand, for the lecture part, unlike regular lecture, the online lecture lacks class interaction. During the lecture, since lack of class interaction, instructor cannot determine whether the students are able to follow or not. If students cannot follow, they would just ask the instructor to explain that topic again. But if a student is in an online lecture, all he or she can do is just listening to the instructor. He or she cannot ask the instructor to repeat. Usually the best way for instructor to know the students is through class interaction. Students can ask and proposal different ideas when instructor is teaching. As a result, instructor could get an impression of a student whether he or she is highly engaged in the class. At the same time, instructor could also get an impression of a student’s personality. However, instructor cannot get those impressions through online lectures. As a result, it makes instructor impossible to judge a student’s personality and his or her willing to learn. When students finish one course, there is no doubt that students would have problems to get reference letters from the instructor, since the instructor barely has the impression of students. All the instructors have are just the assignments which are submitted through the Internet by the students. Lacking of reference letters is definitely a big issue when students are looking for jobs or seeking higher education in the future, since almost all the fields will require reference letter. As a conclusion, lack of communication leads to failure of establishing a good relationship with the instructor, and failing to establish a good relationship with the instructor, in one aspect, would bring a bad influence on those students who tend to take online education. (You’ve used 6 times “he or she,” 7 times “since.” Relationship is one aspect needed to be considered, but effectiveness of learning is also one aspect need to be carefully examined.
It is known that online courses lacks of face-to-face communication (), it also means it will take students a big amount of time to participate in a discussion or finish their assignments (). I have a friend who took an online course about computer language last summer. He told me that the discussion part cost most time. He was expected to type what he thought on the Internet regarding a final project which is expect to be done by two persons, and then, he begun to wait. It usually took him about five minutes to see the response from his partner. All the discussion took him a whole afternoon. At the end, he finally decided to work on the final project alone instead of working with his partner. I have done this kind of project before. Firstly, I met my partner in class and talked about what we should do. It only took about half an hour to determine everyone’s job. And in the rest of the semester, we met once a week to inform each other what process had been made through this week. Finally, we did quite well. Though those two examples happened around me, it is easy to say that taking a class online cost more time when comparing to taking a traditional class. I can’t tell their logical relationship. Would you explain why examples happened around you, particularly, It is easy to say…) Since students are required to do all things on the computer, it will take unnecessary time for typing or waiting for response. Students could use that amount of time to do anything else if they are taking a traditional class. As a conclusion, taking an online class would take more time; it will result in low efficiency in learning.
“Many programs also tend to rely heavily on part-time faculty who have commitments at other institutions which can potentially cause issues related to the quality of communications, timeliness of faculty feedback to students, and the quality of supervision provided to student research” (). Even though the class size is smaller therrfore it seems that each student can obtain more attention from the instructor, why does it matter if the instructors are busy with other commitments which have the priority? Instructors spend less time on online courses, the quality of the feedback to the students would be a problem. If students have a question, it usually will take a longer time for the instructor to answer. However, if students are taking a traditional class, they can call upon their instructors during office hours or schedule personal in-person appointments as needed. Students also can get relatively more specific explanation from the instructor. It obviously does a better job when comparing to taking a class online.
Above are some general downsides online education has, but for some particular field, online education has more limits.
Taking engineering as an example, one of the hottest and most well-paid occupations now, attracts large numbers of students to study. Engineering is a complex topic which requires “in-book” and “out-book” experience. Students who complete online programs do not have the ability to work through problems with other students or the instructor in a classroom setting. In a traditional program, students are required to take lab courses in order to let them to apply what they have learnt in class into real world. How about online program? I do not think online program will provide such opportunities to students. Besides, most traditional engineering programs require students to complete an internship or a field experience with an engineering firm. This gives students the advantage of getting real-world experience while they are still in school. It will also make students more competitive when seeking jobs. On the contrary, online engineering education programs usually are not capable for that, so students will generally miss out on this valuable opportunity to learn practical skills and gain an employment reference for the future. The result is less competitive for those students who chose attend education online.
Nowadays, company are still willing to evaluate students based own their own experiences and a traditional degree. It is a little risky to attend an online school to gain a degree. Besides, when considering the amount of time the online education costs and what can you learn through online education, it is not worthwhile to attend an online school.
Some notes about the draft:
Sorry, I still need to do some research on this topic, like some statistics to prove me a reliable writer. (I miss intro of this essay)
The citation I have not finished, I will finish the citation as soon as I find all the material I need for my topic. (I miss all the citation and the work cited page of this essay)
Persuasive Research Paper Peer Review
Use the assignment submission rubric to score your partner’s paper. Use the highlight tool to describe your partner’s paper, then add more detailed comments below each section. Be thorough, and be honest.#p#分页标题#e#
Copy and paste your responses at the end of your partner’s draft.
指导essay Total Score (out of 25):
6 Points 4 Points 2 Points 0 Points
Audience Analysis The audience analysis demonstrates superior understanding of the speaker’s intended audience. The audience analysis thoughtfully considers the speaker’s intended audience. The audience analysis begins to discuss the speaker’s audience, but it may be missing several key factors. The audience analysis is missing or inaccurate.
Comments: Don’t forget it in your final draft.
6 Points 4 Points 2 Points 0 Points
Critical Thinking The author demonstrates superior analysis and a nuanced relationship with the content. Each paragraph works to support its topic sentence and the thesis statement. The author refutes or concedes opposing points when necessary and has no questionable aspects of his argument. The author demonstrates adequate analysis and a strong relationship with the content. Most paragraphs work to support their topic sentences and the thesis statement. The author refutes or concedes opposing points when necessary but may have questionable aspects of his argument. The author demonstrates inadequate analysis or a weak relationship with the content. Some paragraphs may not work to support their topic sentences and the thesis statement. The author may not refute or concedes opposing points when necessary or may have some questionable aspects of his argument. The author demonstrates deficient analysis or is unable to confidently interact with the content. Some paragraphs may be irrelevant to their topic sentences or the thesis statement. The author neglects to refute or concedes opposing points when necessary or may have several questionable aspects of his argument.
Comments:
It’s clear what you want to say. At some places I pointed out, however, it’s better if you can be more specific.
6 Points 4 Points 2 Points 0 Points
Structure The paper is well-organized within paragraphs and overall. Each paragraph contains a strong topic sentence, supporting evidence, and analysis. The author uses sophisticated transitions between ideas and paragraphs. The paper contains a superior introduction and conclusion. The paper contains a strong thesis statement that is well-written. The paper is generally well-organized within paragraphs and overall. Each paragraph contains a topic sentence, supporting evidence, and analysis, but one of these may need further development. The author uses transitions between ideas and paragraphs, but they may not be sophisticated. The paper contains an adequate introduction and conclusion. The thesis statement is adequate in content and in wording. The paper is poorly organized within paragraphs or overall. Some body paragraphs may lack a topic sentence, supporting evidence, or analysis. The author does not use transitions between ideas and paragraphs, so the language is often abrupt. The paper contains an inadequate introduction and conclusion. The thesis statement may be unclear or poorly worded. The paper is so poorly organized that it obstructs the reader’s understanding. Body paragraphs consistently lack topic sentences, supporting evidence, or analysis. The author does not use transitions. The paper lacks an introduction or conclusion or one of these is deficient. The thesis statement is missing or unrelated to the paper.
Comments:
Please see my comments!
6 Points 4 Points 2 Points 0 Points
Style and Mechanics Diction and syntax are polished. Tone, tense, and voice are consistent and appropriate for an academic audience. There are no errors in mechanics or usage that interfere with meaning. There may be some questionable word or syntactical choices. Tone, tense, and voice are usually consistent and appropriate for an academic audience. There are few or no errors in mechanics or usage that interfere with meaning. There are questionable word or syntactical choices. Tone, tense, and voice are inconsistent and may be appropriate for an academic audience. There are errors in mechanics or usage that interfere with meaning. There are many questionable word or syntactical choices. Tone, tense, and voice are inconsistent and are often appropriate for an academic audience. There are many errors in mechanics or usage that interfere with meaning.
Comments:
Your repeating words and structures make your paper sounds redundant.
1 Point 0 Points
Format The paper is in correct MLA format and contains a correct works cited page. The title is appropriate to the paper. The format or works cited page is incorrect, or the title is missing or inappropriate to the paper.
Comments:
Add “works cited”
指导essay Overall Comments:
In my point of view, this would be a great paper if you could spend much time on it. I can tell that you want to make your paper less biased. As a result, you use too many vague words, such as “some,” “many” to construct your paper as you wished. Always be more specific in your examples; not only give one, but clearly account for why you give it.
Zhiyu
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